temari, shikamaru, and clucking cows?
by Zoe A. W
Summary: what will happen when Ino and Sacura get drunk? Cows cluck temari makes appumtions and shikamaru goes beyond the call of duty?


Choji left the bar around 9:45 claiming that he had to be home by 10:00 or else his roommate was going to lock him out again. Sasuke left the bar around 10:30 claiming that he wanted to do some late training, just not too late. So that left Naruto and Shikamaru to take home some very drunk, women.

"Well Shika what should we do with them?" Naruto asked a bit drunk him self.

"I'm not sure it's too troublesome." He replied the blonde man.

"At least we don't have to sneak around anymore" he was referring to about a year ago when none of them could legally drink.

"I guess but a new age poses a new problem, a drunk women problem." He began to ponder the situation, yet all 200+ bits of his IQ were failing him. "We could take advantage of them?" Naruto seemed uphaled at the suggestion so he assured the blonde person. "I was kidding"

"Good Shika!" there was now 1 on 3 unfortunately the sober people were in the minority.

"Come on Naruto I guess now I have to take you all home nearly individually. Those two are on the way back to my house so they can watch after each other for the time being." He then took the blue eyed; alcohol infested body home and began to walk back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Meanwhile at the bar XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Cluck Cluck!"

"Piggy you sound like a cow!"

"No a turkey, turkeys go Cluck cluck! Cows go woof! Woof!"

Kiba and akamaru walked in "hey girls what's up" he was echoed by his trust companion.

"See Mr. Forehead that's a cow cause he said woo-" Ino had just fallen off of the barstool, and onto the floor. She was unconscious.

"Sacura is she drunk?" Kiba was now a bit puzzled.

"Naruto, please tell her that cow's go cluck! -Hiccup-cluck! He he I said cluck he-up cluck!" Sacura replied

"I think you're just as drunk!"

"I'm not druuuuuuuunk Naru-hiccup-to!" she was no waving violently in her seat.

"Sacura you are so drunk...how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Twelve-teen… and did you know that cows go cluck!"

"I'm not even going to ask who drugged you that bad." Kiba replied and walked out of the bar.

"S-S-Shika"-she passed out on the floor.

"Huh? What? Where am I?" Ino was the first to awake.

"Your at my house, I couldn't find your house key." Shikamaru replied

Her hands instantly went to her chest, "Oh good my key's still there…wait you know where I keep my keys you've seen me get them out before." She was now a bit worried yet relieved yet scared, but mostly confused.

"Just because I know doesn't mean that I'm going to go fishing!"

"Uh thanks I think? So what happened last night? All I remember is something about us all going out after training." She was still a bit wobbly on her legs.

"Choji and Sasuke left at a decent hour, I drug Naruto home, And you and Sacura, are here. You were both drunk out of your minds. By the way your clothes are over there." Shikamaru said.

"My what!" she looked down to see herself in undergarment's and a men's shirt "Shikamaru you pervert!"

"Chill I just put you and Sacura in a room with two of my shirts and told you to change," he said as he put something back into the fridge. "Obviously, my plan worked."

"How do I know you didn't look!" she wailed at him

"You don't" was his simple reply.

"AHHHHHHHHHH"

"Sacura's up. I'll go see if she's dressed…decently." Ino retorted and swaggered out of the living room/kitchen.

A few minutes later the Duo came out wearing the tee shirts that he had laid put for them, and their hair was now brushed.

"Pervert" Ino, whispered as she bent down to retrieve milk from the fridge. "Do you drink strait from the Carton?"

"Wouldn't drink it any other way."

"Sick-o"

"Well how about…ewe what is this?" She held up a Tupperware container of something.

"Let me come see." He walked over to the fridge to she her legs not bend at the knee but strait to the point that her undergarments were showing. She had the food resting on her back. "I would tell you," he said as he picked it up "but I'm not entirely sure, myself" he put it back in the fridge.

"Well I'm thoroughly disgusted, I'm ordering some pizza." She stood up but just as she did he slapped her on the butt. "You pervert!"

"You left it there." He said and went to get her the phone.

"I can tell that you two really get along well," Sacura said.

"Tell me about it…pepperoni right?" she nodded "Yo Shika full pepperoni! I'll buy!"

"Do you remember anything?" Sacura implied as soon as Ino was done yelling at the hallway.

"No, not really. Knowing him, that's a bit scary."

"Well of the bit that I do remember, there was something about cows and clucking."

"Your insane forehead girl" Ino said and strutted away to speak to their caregiver. "Yo when's the pizza gonna get here?"

"20 minutes." Came the reply.

18 minutes later the doorbell rang. "Yo Shika I'll get it it's probably Choji with our pizza." Neither her nor Sacura had changed yet so they were both still there in Undergarments and a tee shirt. "Hello" Ino said as she opened the door. In the door way there was not the expected Choji but a blonde girl. "Your not Choji, and judging by that face you aint got our pizza."

"Shikamaru!" the woman barged in and went strait into Shikamaru's bedroom despite the girl's warnings of him changing.

"T-T-Temari?"

"Who are they?" Temari roared back at him

"I'm Ino and that's Sacura? What the heck is going on here? Shika?"

"How troublesome Ino Sacura this is Temari my friend from sand." He began to explain

"Whoa your Temari he wouldn't shut up about you for like weeks after the exams!" Ino shouted.

"Yes well huh? This is Ino she's in my cell, this is her friend Sacura, she was also in my class, we… my team and 7 that's Sacura's team went out drinking last night and they drank too much, I was afraid to ask Sacura where her house key was, because she was so close to Ino, and I was afraid to get Ino's key. Knowing where she keeps it, I thought it best not to go fishing. I only had you in mind. Now if you don't mind can I please at least put on something other the my undergarments, before we continue this."

"No" she hollered at him.

"He's not lying and to b e honest with you, you really should be proud, he did what was best, trust me I remember most of it…sort of." Ino tried to defend him as best as the alcohol would let her, "I keep my key in my bra, that's why he let us stay, he figured that Sacura and I would do the same thing, and we do. It comes with the territory having two practical brother's when you want then out of your stuff, you keep the key untouchable."

"And how does he know where you keep your key?" everything said seemed to infuriate her more

"He's made sure I got home safe before, like I said he's the brother I never had, sometimes after training the three of us will go out to dinner, last night we happened to be 3-on-3 so 7 came with. He was really doing what was best **ding-dong** "well there's Choji with the pizza I'm starving!"

By the time Ino and Sacura had finished the pizza, the two of them had worked things out and all was okay…for then

"Hey, Sacura have you seen my bra? I can't seem to find it?" _ Wait I was changing in…Shika's room…there's no way he's going to live past thirty with her._


End file.
